R.I.P.

1924-2006

It's not personal

General letter to any and all who may try to contact me-

Apologies if I don't respond so quickly in the near future- my Internet connection at home seems to be dying, and I'm not yet entirely sure what the problem is, but it seems to lie somewhere within the evil triumvirate of computer, ethernet card, and modem, ruling out the quick solution of a bitchy call to SBC or ATT or whatever the hell it is now that's supposed to make our world a better place by making it easier for reindeer herders in Lapland to download "Ass Like That" to their cell phones. So, until I figure that out, my contact with the world may be sporadic, and I'll be forced to waste valuable work time, reducing productive man-hours and endangering our fragile economy, in order to conduct my already feeble online correspondence.

Thank you. Carry on.

Free Stamps, Part II

I think the USPS got wise to my free stamp racket and is clamping down. The other day I got somebody else's mail. Mind you, this isn't unusual, particularly with the junk mail I still get for former residents of my apartment. My favorite is the special offers I get from Camel cigarettes- almost good enough to make me take up smoking. But this was to the wrong address entirely- rather, the right address but the wrong street. I won't give out my address here in a medium where I don't even use my real name- wait! No, Zonthar is my real name! I, uh.... screw it. Anyway, let's just say that my street and this other person's street are only about a mile apart, both start with V, have the same number of letters, and end with S. The printing on the letter is kinda small, so I can understand mistaking one street for the other. Fine. And I figured this was something this person would need, so I'd be nice and send it to him. I wrote "Delivered to wrong address" and dropped it in a mailbox. Couple days later- yup, it was delivered right back to me, with my handwritten note and all. Dumbasses. Gave me a good laugh, though. "Ha Ha", I laughed heartily, then added "TWICE" to my note, circled the address, wrote the right street name in big letters, and sent it off again. It hasn't come back yet, but I wonder if the Man is trying to send me a message.......