Tuesday, November 20, 2007

"Blow into this device and sign here."

The woman I work for is a member of some Wine-of-the-Month club or something like that, so a box containing a couple bottles of wine gets delivered to our office every month, and I'm usually the one who ends up signing for it. There's always been a label on it saying "Adult Signature Required- Over 21". Okay, that makes sense. But today for the first time I noticed it also says "Alcoholic Beverage- Do Not Deliver To Intoxicated Persons". What?

Is this a law, or just a policy of the shipping company? Either way.... what? If I'm over 21, stationary, and have had a few drinks, I can't have more delivered? Is this a common problem, drunks obtaining more booze within 10 to 14 business days? If I'm in a bar and already drunk, I can get another drink. But if I'm in the bar long enough for the bartender to ship my drink to me, I can't have it then? Or do they assume I'm going to be driving when the package arrives? What if I refuse to submit to a test of my blood, breath, and/or urine- do I lose my mail privileges? And here I spent all this time planning, tracking the package, timing the party just right so that when everybody was drunk enough, then more alcohol would magically appear at the door. So much for that. Anybody want to volunteer to be the designated signer?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Mr.Platty,
It's always a pleasure to poke around in your writings. Plenty of laughs and 'hey, he's gotta point there' moments.
I'm with you on the 'travel and creation' thing.
Oh yeah, busty coeds are maybe part of nature's plan for fulfillment as well.
best to ya.

10:48 AM  

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