Vote for my crisis! Make your voice heard!
Okay, in honor of my impending officially-getting-even-older, I've decided it's time to finally commit to a full-bore midlife crisis. Yes, I know the case could be made that I've never advanced beyond adolescence anyway, but we're talking chronologically here. Problem is, I can't decide what exactly I should do in my vain attempt to stave off the aging process, so I'm looking for public input.
I've made a list of some ideas- place your votes for any or all of them, or give me your own suggestions. With your help, we can make this the bestest crisis ever!
-Tattoo(s)
-Piercing(s)
-Dye hair
-Mohawk
-Six-figure sportscar
-Hot and cold running starlets
-Hallucinogenic voyage of self-discovery
-Cool hip-hop name
-Sail around world w/ basset hound
-Sail around world w/ Christopher Walken
-Disappear without a trace, make new life in Seattle as "David St. Borland", tech industry entrepreneur and club promoter
-Sullen, bitter alcoholism, profound self-loathing
Help me out, people!
I've made a list of some ideas- place your votes for any or all of them, or give me your own suggestions. With your help, we can make this the bestest crisis ever!
-Tattoo(s)
-Piercing(s)
-Dye hair
-Mohawk
-Six-figure sportscar
-Hot and cold running starlets
-Hallucinogenic voyage of self-discovery
-Cool hip-hop name
-Sail around world w/ basset hound
-Sail around world w/ Christopher Walken
-Disappear without a trace, make new life in Seattle as "David St. Borland", tech industry entrepreneur and club promoter
-Sullen, bitter alcoholism, profound self-loathing
Help me out, people!
posted by Zonthar at
5:52 PM
10 Comments:
Okay, tatts and piercings are fun, but I'm not sure I can see them on you.
A new haircut is always fun. But I think you should take ballroom dancing lessons with a certain dancing machine that enjoys your company! :)
LOL
that or adopt a monkey
yeah a monkey
The Hallucinogenic voyage of self-discovery is fun and all but so yesterday. Perhaps plunging yourself into one of my shows that could be the surprise hit on the Fringe circuit would be just the ticket to fulfilling at least two thirds of your list.
Happy Birthday, Man. I'll attempt an appearance at the festivities (that way you could find your way onto my latest vlog).
Cheers!
Well, I know nothing about you, old man. But asking for help is certainly symptomatic of an impending crisis. My best advice is to listen to Lecram. He knows about this sort of thing. Me? i haven't got a clue!
But I hope you have fun!
hmmm... a spiritual awakening? :)
Happy Birthday!
Kien- Thank you! And I could probably use a good awakening...
Lolly- You're right, it's a cry for help. And yes, one should always listen to a Malaysian :)
Marcel- Thanks man! You never know, could take you up on that advice...
Katie- Monkeys rock and so do you!
I'm thinking the David St.Whatsit and then on your days off go sailing with the bassetts---I have two you can borrow on weekends---just keep a lifevest on them...those little legs and dense bodies are not very seaworthy!(but the upside is, on the open sea their odor wont' bother many folks)----
Happy Birthday sir! I look forward to the next time we meet!
--B.
A full back tattoo of a blue-mohawked Christopher Walken smoking a wet-one with a (nude)Jessica Simpson whilst sailing the Good Ship Lollipop through the clouds.
covers most of the good ones....
I mean, a cool hip-hop name never works for white guy. Remember Vanilla Ice? Nuff said.
Peace out.
APj
I recommend the F. Arnold sampler: Fake tan, teeth caps, and hair plugs covered up with a jaunty beret while they take effect. And to top it all off, a media whore clad from head to toe in metallic spandex.
How about taking a walkabout where you chronicle your travels through small towns across America? Take a video camera and your witty self and talk to some of the good people of our beleaguered country. Hell, you could probably even get a grant to do it.
This country needs a super talented middle-aged charismatic guy to go out there and show us all that the country isn't all about the real lives of celebrity yahoos.
You are the man, John!
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