Chatting Postal
An imaginary conversation with today's mail, perhaps a delayed hallucination brought on by the birthday absinthe Marcel fed me last night:
"Hello, mail."
"Hello."
"You look familiar today."
"Do I?"
"Yup. No bills, though?"
"No, not today."
"What's this?"
"A Save the Date card."
"How nice, a benefit for Children's Hospital. A worthy cause."
"Yes, it is."
"So I'm invited to this thing?"
"No, I'm a Save the Date card. See on the bottom here? It says 'Invitation to follow.'"
"Well, am I invited or not?"
"I don't know. They just stamp and send me. You're supposed to save the date."
"Save it for what? The possibility that I might get invited?"
"Hey, I don't care what you do. I'm just supposed to tell you to save the date."
"So what's the deal with these things?
"What do you mean?"
"I mean everybody sends 'Save the Date' cards now, for weddings, fundraisers, whatever. Wouldn't it be easier, and save more trees, if you just sent the invitation in the first place? That's what this card means, right? 'Get ready, you're about to be invited!' What, like maybe I might save the date and then not get invited? And then I'm just lonely and have nothing to do? What kind of system is that?"
"Look pal, I didn't ask to be sent here to your decrepit hovel with the hand-me-down furniture. You can save the fucking date or not, I really don't give a shit."
"Yeah? Save this."
"What? Hey, wait a sgszzgzgzgzgzzgszz..." *sounds of shredding*
"Hello, mail."
"Hello."
"You look familiar today."
"Do I?"
"Yup. No bills, though?"
"No, not today."
"What's this?"
"A Save the Date card."
"How nice, a benefit for Children's Hospital. A worthy cause."
"Yes, it is."
"So I'm invited to this thing?"
"No, I'm a Save the Date card. See on the bottom here? It says 'Invitation to follow.'"
"Well, am I invited or not?"
"I don't know. They just stamp and send me. You're supposed to save the date."
"Save it for what? The possibility that I might get invited?"
"Hey, I don't care what you do. I'm just supposed to tell you to save the date."
"So what's the deal with these things?
"What do you mean?"
"I mean everybody sends 'Save the Date' cards now, for weddings, fundraisers, whatever. Wouldn't it be easier, and save more trees, if you just sent the invitation in the first place? That's what this card means, right? 'Get ready, you're about to be invited!' What, like maybe I might save the date and then not get invited? And then I'm just lonely and have nothing to do? What kind of system is that?"
"Look pal, I didn't ask to be sent here to your decrepit hovel with the hand-me-down furniture. You can save the fucking date or not, I really don't give a shit."
"Yeah? Save this."
"What? Hey, wait a sgszzgzgzgzgzzgszz..." *sounds of shredding*
posted by Zonthar at
5:00 PM
2 Comments:
#1. I think save the date cards are stupid- just friggen invite people
#2. Children's hospital is always dong something.... save your money and go out to dinner without it being affiliated... ( I work with the hospital, you should hear the stories)
#3. Shredding papers is such a powerful feeling! RAWR
so, the faerie does send you to madness.
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