London Tales, Parte the Thyrde
Okay, I've taken two blogs and several months to get through essentially one day's worth of London trip. I'll try to pick up the pace a bit.
Monday- still jet-lagged after the hot night with Tiger Man, we took our sweet time getting up our first morning in London. Cobbled together a bit of brekky prepared in our cute little kitchen.
Partly by design, partly by chance, our week ended up having a nice little two-tone balance to it. More touristy things at the beginning, more local flavor and less structure toward the end. Monday was the most intense touristy day of all, with several "must-sees" crossed off the list in an amazingly short amount of time, especially considering that we didn't really get going until early afternoon. There are a couple companies in London that do "hop on, hop off" bus tours. The buses have regular routes and stops just like a city bus, and your ticket is good for 24 hours. Ride all the way around, or get off where you want to look at something for a while, then get back on another bus later. It's a very cool way to see the major sights while getting oriented in the maddening labyrinth of London. Plus, it's on the old-style open top double deckers, which was very cool!
We find there's a ticketing point for the hop-on buses right outside Baker Street tube station. By the Tube configuration, getting on at our local Ladbroke Grove station, Baker Street was our connecting point for most of the other lines, so we went through this behemoth station many times. But Baker Street is also significant for being where Sherlock Holmes lived. 221-B Baker Street, to be specific. Considering the man and his home never existed, he gets an awful lot of attention. This is a wall in the station:
This is what you see when you walk outside (yes, including me, I'm there every single day, trying to make a living as "Eyebrow Man"):
And here is the Sherlock Holmes Museum, which we didn't go into or even cross the street for:
Its address is 221-B, except not really. The actual location would be a few doors down, about here:
It's silly, but I have to say it's also cool to be able to put a place to the stories, even if you have to mentally remove all of the modern accoutrements.
Anyway, we got our bus tickets, and the bored counter girl told us that we could also get discount tickets for the London Eye (the big ferris wheel) and a free hour-long boat tour on the Thames. "Okay." Done.
The bus was fun, with recorded commentary including corny jokes which would do the Jungle Cruise proud. Around every turn and with each new landmark, the amazement kept growing inside me (or maybe it was the sauages from breakfast...). I have been a lifelong Anglophile- but then, my sexual orientation has nothing to do with this story. Let's just say I've always loved things British, and have always wanted to go there. For me, seeing all of this for real, in person, FINALLY, was just mind-boggling.
People have asked me what my favorite part of the trip was, or what sight impressed me the most- it's a three-part answer (of course). I loved it when I would see things and places that were exactly what I expected, the best example being Big Ben (yes, I know that's actually the name of the bell, not the clock- just shut the f up, okay?)- the moment when we were standing half a block away and suddenly Big Ben started chiming- that was the moment that really sent a chill up my spine and said, I'm really here, in London! That would have to be my favorite single moment, and it was exactly what I would have always expected. On the other hand, my two favorite places we visited were Bath and the Tower of London, for exactly the opposite reason- they were completely unexpected. But more about that later.
Yes, my nipples are going to town in this shot, and not just because it's kinda chilly:
So, we zipped around and saw a lot of things at high speed, and stopped a few places for walking around. Here's some pictures. One was taken specifically for Marcel. See if you can figure out which one.
I have no idea what the sheep is about, but it makes me laugh.
This building is lovingly/scornfully referred to as "The Gherkin". That would be one of the more polite metaphors that come to mind. A gherkin with batteries, more like. At one point I saw a group of German girls pointing and laughing, and my high school German let me figure out they were not talking about pickles.
Where's Sullivan?
I took this picture because if you look closely, you'll see that "Dirty Dancing" and "Footloose" are playing in the same block.
Downing Street.
We first saw this sculpture that day, on top of a building near Picadilly Circus. We would pass it many times through the course of that week, and every time- EVERY SINGLE TIME, mind you- we'd comment on the boobs. Yes, the fake, sculpted, metal boobs. Ladies, the Y chromosome is a very powerful force which cannot be controlled. We honestly can't help it. You have no idea.
Went on the Eye, which was very cool. I know a big Ferris wheel doesn't sound all that exciting, but it's well worth it. Amazing views. Painted people in the neighboring park. I might give money to a musician or somebody who is showing some talent, but I draw the line at paying someone to paint themself blue and sit motionless. Hell, that's just any Saturday night at my place. Note the shot (not that great) of painted people taking a break together, which means they move.
I like this because you can see the whole car and view in Alan's glasses.
In front of a nearby museum. I like the juxtaposition of melting Dali watch with Parliament.
Went on the free cruise- neat to go under bridges and see things from the water side. And we were pretty beat by that time, too. Which brings us to today's video, which I like to call, "Still Life With Safety Announcement".
Eventually, the day wound down, the tour buses stopped, and we found ourselves in Picadilly Circus- yes, near the boobs. It's like 9 or 10 PM and we're starving. We wandered around a bit and suddenly found ourselves in Chinatown. I had no idea London even had a Chinatown, and what they do have seems to be a block long. We found a restaurant that served what has got to be the worst, most tasteless Chinese food I have ever had, but it was cheap and all you can eat, and really hit the spot. I think we just called it a night and made our way home after that.
I think that was also the first night of the ritual we called the Flying Laptop. Usually didn't work very well, forcing us to visit hotspots or the hourly rental Internet shops that scatter the city.
Tuesday- only one major plan that day. We had decided to take one day to get out of the city and see a little English countryside. Found a tour that would take us to Bath and Stonehenge. Had our reservations, tour was leaving from near Victoria Station at noon, went downtown to find the place, had some time to kill, so we walked down the street to look at this little shack that some old broad named Elizabeth lives in.
This would be such a great shot if Alan and Jeff weren't out of focus.
Construction workers and police in body armor- ah, the royal life.
Heh, it says "balls".....
Anyway, got on our comfy bus with a pleasant but somewhat long-winded tour guide, and off we went.
You can't see it, but the plaque on this building says Alfred Hitchcock used to live there.
Took this shot of a rest stop parking sign when we stopped for a break. I'm such a geek and so stupid, that I took it purely because I liked the eighty billion languages on it. It took APJ to point out the obvious "P free" joke. Always taking it into the gutter, eh J?
I was so happy to see the countryside look more or less like I imagined it based on such BBC shows as "All Creatures Great and Small". This wasn't Yorkshire, but it was full of green hills and stone fences and I loved it.
First stop, Bath. The town, not the act of watery cleansing. What an incredibly cool surprise this place was. I knew about the Roman Baths, I knew it was kind of a resort city, but really didn't know much about the town at all, which made for such a feeling of intrigued discovery. I'm sure some of its look and appeal are because of its tourist credentials, but this little town with ancient bathhouses rubbing shoulders with medieval churches and 18th-century homes, a beautiful river setting, an imposing cathedral- the kind of place you go for, say, a honeymoon. We only had a couple hours there, much of which was spent in the Baths with our magic Commentary Wands, but I so want to go back there someday and really explore the town.
I'm a tree.
His name was Nigel. I sat next to him on the tour bus. He was alone, a daytripper from Manchester. I told him I liked his accent. He giggled sweetly. He said he'd always wanted to go to the States. I said I'd show him Florida. The next morning, he walked out of the room wearing my bedsheet. He looked so adorable, I had to take this picture. Sadly, it was the last I'd ever see of him. Sweet, sweet Nigel.
Where was I? Oh, Bath. Anyway, thumbs up on the Bath thing. Go there. Back on the bus, and off we went to Stonehenge. On the way, a duck flew right in front of the bus and smacked the windshield loud enough to scare the shit out of everybody. The bus won. Poor duck.
Finally pulled up to Stonehenge, which is just bloody amazing. Mind you, we weren't just your average visitors- anybody can visit Stonehenge, but you can only get so close. The actual stones and inner circle are off limits without special permission, but there are a limited number of tours, on a limited number of days, that are allowed in either before or after public opening hours. You pay extra to do this, but not only do you get to go wander among the stones and touch them, it's also timed so you're there to witness either sunrise or sunset. This is why our tour didn't leave until noon- we were scheduled for sunset at Stonehenge, and it was worth all the extra pence. They let us wander around for like 45 minutes to an hour, with very little restriction (like we couldn't climb on them). The stones look big from anywhere, but you don't really appreciate their massive size until you're standing right next to them. One thing that surprised me was that the location wasn't quite as desolate as it's always portrayed- sure, if you photograph it from one direction, it looks as if it's on a neverending empty plain. But turn around, and you see that it's RIGHT NEXT to a small highway, and a couple hundred yards from a big highway. At one point, some obnoxious German teenagers pulled up in their car, hopped the fence, and noisily ran up to the stones, only to get promptly booted out by the park warden. If they'd kept their mouths shut, they'd probably have mixed into our group without getting noticed.
Pictures.
"No Admittance"? I LAUGH at your pathetic sign! It is powerless to stop me!
My "2001" moment.
Awwww. This will go on the Christmas cards this year.
Back on the bus for a sleepy ride home. Not half a mile from Stonehenge, on the edge of some town, there was a brand new shopping or office complex called something like- wait for it- "Solstice Plaza". Seeing that the British could reduce the majesty and mystery of Stonehenge to a ridiculously tacky shopping center name made me slightly less embarrassed to be a visiting American.
Got back home, then a 10 PM visit to some Italian place down the street from the flat, and the Flying Laptop. Another amazing day in London comes to a close.
One of my favorite pictures of the whole trip.
THUS ENDETH PARTE THE THYRDE
Monday- still jet-lagged after the hot night with Tiger Man, we took our sweet time getting up our first morning in London. Cobbled together a bit of brekky prepared in our cute little kitchen.
Partly by design, partly by chance, our week ended up having a nice little two-tone balance to it. More touristy things at the beginning, more local flavor and less structure toward the end. Monday was the most intense touristy day of all, with several "must-sees" crossed off the list in an amazingly short amount of time, especially considering that we didn't really get going until early afternoon. There are a couple companies in London that do "hop on, hop off" bus tours. The buses have regular routes and stops just like a city bus, and your ticket is good for 24 hours. Ride all the way around, or get off where you want to look at something for a while, then get back on another bus later. It's a very cool way to see the major sights while getting oriented in the maddening labyrinth of London. Plus, it's on the old-style open top double deckers, which was very cool!
We find there's a ticketing point for the hop-on buses right outside Baker Street tube station. By the Tube configuration, getting on at our local Ladbroke Grove station, Baker Street was our connecting point for most of the other lines, so we went through this behemoth station many times. But Baker Street is also significant for being where Sherlock Holmes lived. 221-B Baker Street, to be specific. Considering the man and his home never existed, he gets an awful lot of attention. This is a wall in the station:
This is what you see when you walk outside (yes, including me, I'm there every single day, trying to make a living as "Eyebrow Man"):
And here is the Sherlock Holmes Museum, which we didn't go into or even cross the street for:
Its address is 221-B, except not really. The actual location would be a few doors down, about here:
It's silly, but I have to say it's also cool to be able to put a place to the stories, even if you have to mentally remove all of the modern accoutrements.
Anyway, we got our bus tickets, and the bored counter girl told us that we could also get discount tickets for the London Eye (the big ferris wheel) and a free hour-long boat tour on the Thames. "Okay." Done.
The bus was fun, with recorded commentary including corny jokes which would do the Jungle Cruise proud. Around every turn and with each new landmark, the amazement kept growing inside me (or maybe it was the sauages from breakfast...). I have been a lifelong Anglophile- but then, my sexual orientation has nothing to do with this story. Let's just say I've always loved things British, and have always wanted to go there. For me, seeing all of this for real, in person, FINALLY, was just mind-boggling.
People have asked me what my favorite part of the trip was, or what sight impressed me the most- it's a three-part answer (of course). I loved it when I would see things and places that were exactly what I expected, the best example being Big Ben (yes, I know that's actually the name of the bell, not the clock- just shut the f up, okay?)- the moment when we were standing half a block away and suddenly Big Ben started chiming- that was the moment that really sent a chill up my spine and said, I'm really here, in London! That would have to be my favorite single moment, and it was exactly what I would have always expected. On the other hand, my two favorite places we visited were Bath and the Tower of London, for exactly the opposite reason- they were completely unexpected. But more about that later.
Yes, my nipples are going to town in this shot, and not just because it's kinda chilly:
So, we zipped around and saw a lot of things at high speed, and stopped a few places for walking around. Here's some pictures. One was taken specifically for Marcel. See if you can figure out which one.
I have no idea what the sheep is about, but it makes me laugh.
This building is lovingly/scornfully referred to as "The Gherkin". That would be one of the more polite metaphors that come to mind. A gherkin with batteries, more like. At one point I saw a group of German girls pointing and laughing, and my high school German let me figure out they were not talking about pickles.
Where's Sullivan?
I took this picture because if you look closely, you'll see that "Dirty Dancing" and "Footloose" are playing in the same block.
Downing Street.
We first saw this sculpture that day, on top of a building near Picadilly Circus. We would pass it many times through the course of that week, and every time- EVERY SINGLE TIME, mind you- we'd comment on the boobs. Yes, the fake, sculpted, metal boobs. Ladies, the Y chromosome is a very powerful force which cannot be controlled. We honestly can't help it. You have no idea.
Went on the Eye, which was very cool. I know a big Ferris wheel doesn't sound all that exciting, but it's well worth it. Amazing views. Painted people in the neighboring park. I might give money to a musician or somebody who is showing some talent, but I draw the line at paying someone to paint themself blue and sit motionless. Hell, that's just any Saturday night at my place. Note the shot (not that great) of painted people taking a break together, which means they move.
I like this because you can see the whole car and view in Alan's glasses.
In front of a nearby museum. I like the juxtaposition of melting Dali watch with Parliament.
Went on the free cruise- neat to go under bridges and see things from the water side. And we were pretty beat by that time, too. Which brings us to today's video, which I like to call, "Still Life With Safety Announcement".
Eventually, the day wound down, the tour buses stopped, and we found ourselves in Picadilly Circus- yes, near the boobs. It's like 9 or 10 PM and we're starving. We wandered around a bit and suddenly found ourselves in Chinatown. I had no idea London even had a Chinatown, and what they do have seems to be a block long. We found a restaurant that served what has got to be the worst, most tasteless Chinese food I have ever had, but it was cheap and all you can eat, and really hit the spot. I think we just called it a night and made our way home after that.
I think that was also the first night of the ritual we called the Flying Laptop. Usually didn't work very well, forcing us to visit hotspots or the hourly rental Internet shops that scatter the city.
Tuesday- only one major plan that day. We had decided to take one day to get out of the city and see a little English countryside. Found a tour that would take us to Bath and Stonehenge. Had our reservations, tour was leaving from near Victoria Station at noon, went downtown to find the place, had some time to kill, so we walked down the street to look at this little shack that some old broad named Elizabeth lives in.
This would be such a great shot if Alan and Jeff weren't out of focus.
Construction workers and police in body armor- ah, the royal life.
Heh, it says "balls".....
Anyway, got on our comfy bus with a pleasant but somewhat long-winded tour guide, and off we went.
You can't see it, but the plaque on this building says Alfred Hitchcock used to live there.
Took this shot of a rest stop parking sign when we stopped for a break. I'm such a geek and so stupid, that I took it purely because I liked the eighty billion languages on it. It took APJ to point out the obvious "P free" joke. Always taking it into the gutter, eh J?
I was so happy to see the countryside look more or less like I imagined it based on such BBC shows as "All Creatures Great and Small". This wasn't Yorkshire, but it was full of green hills and stone fences and I loved it.
First stop, Bath. The town, not the act of watery cleansing. What an incredibly cool surprise this place was. I knew about the Roman Baths, I knew it was kind of a resort city, but really didn't know much about the town at all, which made for such a feeling of intrigued discovery. I'm sure some of its look and appeal are because of its tourist credentials, but this little town with ancient bathhouses rubbing shoulders with medieval churches and 18th-century homes, a beautiful river setting, an imposing cathedral- the kind of place you go for, say, a honeymoon. We only had a couple hours there, much of which was spent in the Baths with our magic Commentary Wands, but I so want to go back there someday and really explore the town.
I'm a tree.
His name was Nigel. I sat next to him on the tour bus. He was alone, a daytripper from Manchester. I told him I liked his accent. He giggled sweetly. He said he'd always wanted to go to the States. I said I'd show him Florida. The next morning, he walked out of the room wearing my bedsheet. He looked so adorable, I had to take this picture. Sadly, it was the last I'd ever see of him. Sweet, sweet Nigel.
Where was I? Oh, Bath. Anyway, thumbs up on the Bath thing. Go there. Back on the bus, and off we went to Stonehenge. On the way, a duck flew right in front of the bus and smacked the windshield loud enough to scare the shit out of everybody. The bus won. Poor duck.
Finally pulled up to Stonehenge, which is just bloody amazing. Mind you, we weren't just your average visitors- anybody can visit Stonehenge, but you can only get so close. The actual stones and inner circle are off limits without special permission, but there are a limited number of tours, on a limited number of days, that are allowed in either before or after public opening hours. You pay extra to do this, but not only do you get to go wander among the stones and touch them, it's also timed so you're there to witness either sunrise or sunset. This is why our tour didn't leave until noon- we were scheduled for sunset at Stonehenge, and it was worth all the extra pence. They let us wander around for like 45 minutes to an hour, with very little restriction (like we couldn't climb on them). The stones look big from anywhere, but you don't really appreciate their massive size until you're standing right next to them. One thing that surprised me was that the location wasn't quite as desolate as it's always portrayed- sure, if you photograph it from one direction, it looks as if it's on a neverending empty plain. But turn around, and you see that it's RIGHT NEXT to a small highway, and a couple hundred yards from a big highway. At one point, some obnoxious German teenagers pulled up in their car, hopped the fence, and noisily ran up to the stones, only to get promptly booted out by the park warden. If they'd kept their mouths shut, they'd probably have mixed into our group without getting noticed.
Pictures.
"No Admittance"? I LAUGH at your pathetic sign! It is powerless to stop me!
My "2001" moment.
Awwww. This will go on the Christmas cards this year.
Back on the bus for a sleepy ride home. Not half a mile from Stonehenge, on the edge of some town, there was a brand new shopping or office complex called something like- wait for it- "Solstice Plaza". Seeing that the British could reduce the majesty and mystery of Stonehenge to a ridiculously tacky shopping center name made me slightly less embarrassed to be a visiting American.
Got back home, then a 10 PM visit to some Italian place down the street from the flat, and the Flying Laptop. Another amazing day in London comes to a close.
One of my favorite pictures of the whole trip.
THUS ENDETH PARTE THE THYRDE
Labels: london
posted by Zonthar at
12:08 AM
3 Comments:
It was well worth the wait. So the nipple shot was for me?
See at first I thought the picture with the giant sandwich was for Marcel, but now I'm not quite sure........
You're both right!! It was a nipple sandwich.
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