So I bought an iPod.......Aw, screw it.

Wow!! Somebody bought an iPod- and wrote a blog about it!!! The blogosphere has never witnessed an essay so richly endowed with significance and grandeur! Hot damn skippy, Ma! Zonthar done went and got hisself one a' them Hi-Pawds!

Yeah well, if anyone else bought an iPod and blogged about it, they might be accused of excessive navel-gazing- which is exactly what I'm doing- but as with most of my blogs, this tale involves a grand and glorious bout with institutional ineptness. Okay, maybe not glorious.

My dad is doing his usual Christmas bit of giving my brother and I each a lump sum of money with the stipulation that we pick out something we want, buy it before Christmas, wrap it, and put it under the tree at his house so there will be something to open. He does none of the work and we get what we want. Brilliant. I've been thinking of getting an iPod for a while, as part of my continuing effort to appear cool so girls will like me. Sure, I don't really have the need for one, but that hasn't stopped anyone else. And there are other and even better mp3 players out there perhaps, but you know, we all gotta have the iPod. What am I gonna buy, a Zune? Please.

So, I decided I would get an iPod for Christmas- but I didn't really want one of the video ones. They're nice and everything, but I'm just not that interested in watching big movies on a tiny screen. Or TV shows. Or internet video. I never go anywhere anyway. I can easily watch what I want on my actual TV or computer. To get my money's worth out of a video iPod, I'd have to start visiting random vacant lots around town so I can sit and watch movies. Besides, judging by the promotional materials, it appears to now be a federal law that upon buying your iPod, you must immediately watch "Pirates of the Caribbean", and I just didn't want to deal with that.

So I chose the Nano. Portable music might be nice. You likely won't be seeing me sporting earbuds everywhere I go, but hey, I can get one of those little transmitter things and listen in my car. Or something. But now the 8 GB model Nano is the same price as the 30 GB full size iPod, which I already decided I don't want, and I'd feel stupid paying the same price to get the "lesser" device. So, I decide on the 4 GB.

Now, I'm pissed. I mean right now, as I'm writing this. This is as far as I had saved this blog. I finished the whole exciting story, but then I just accidentally deleted it a few minutes ago before posting it. It was a work of beauty, filled with sparkling wit and biting satire, but now it's gone, and I'm too pissed off to rewrite it. Suffice it to say I wanted a red one, which you can't get anywhere, so I ordered it from Apple, and then FedEx misplaced it. At least it was here in town, but if I hadn't taken the initiative to go to the warehouse myself, it never would have made it into my greedy little hands. If my blog hadn't been deleted, you would have heard all the gory details, all the amusing asides, all the mythological refences, and all about the scary guy from Chowchilla and his Metallica shirt, but nope, you won't hear it now. I shall write no more. The gist is that I finally got the damn thing. First song I loaded onto it was "Memorial" by Michael Nyman. So much for being cool.